I See Dead People. Or Maybe I Just Like Talking to Walls.

Me and Heather. Please excuse the naked man behind us.

Yesterday afternoon, I was working in my office when I heard the kids running into the house with our Au Pair, Heather.

“Mommy, mommy!”
Shaila ran in yelling. “Heather is going to be sick!”

I looked up and over at Heather, whose face was three shades paler than her already fair Welsh complexion. She looked at me apologetically.

“I’m so sorry, Kiran. I am not at all well.”

Except when she said it, it didn’t sound like “not at all well.” It sounded like “naht aht ahll wehll,” with her sing-songy Welsh accent. Which I guess still sounds pretty sing-songy even when she is about to be sick.

Now, Heather never gets sick. Well, not really. Other than being a little hungover on some weekend mornings, she is pretty much in top form all the time.

So this was news.

Go.” I told her. “Get in bed right now.” I sent her upstairs. She looked so miserable she didn’t even turn around.

Soon, the rest of us had dinner and started going through the evening rituals of bathing and bedtime stories. After we got the kids to bed, I went in to check on Heather.

Her room was pitch black. She was bundled up under the covers, shivering and looking even more pale than before. I could tell without asking that I shouldn’t ask her about eating, so I told her to call me if she needed anything and let myself quietly out of her room.

Feel better, hon. Love you,” I said.
Love you…” and she was out.

I shut the door and finished up some work I needed to do and then went upstairs to ask John something. He was upstairs in our bedroom sitting area, watching television and checking emails. I sat on the floor facing him and we were catching up on the day when we heard a door open.

John and I looked at each other, thinking if it was one of the kids getting out of bed, who was going to call “Not it!” first. But it wasn’t the kids. It was Heather.


Yeah, hon. Do you need something?” I thought she might need help or need me to get her something.

There is a man and woman in my room and I did not invite them. Did you?

Huh? What the hell? I looked over at John.

She’s sleepwalking.” He told me. “Just go put her back to bed.

I looked at Heather. Her eyes were red and she seemed very upset about the intruders in her room. She had a bit of a petulant tone in her voice as she whispered loudly, almost accusingly, “They said you said they could come in.

Who?” I asked.

The man and woman! They’re in there,” she said, pointing at her room into the right corner.

No, honey. Don’t worry. Show me where they are. I’ll make them leave.”

Yes, please. Thank you.” It’s good to know she is polite even when she is sleepwalking. I will have to let her parents know.

So we went back to her room where I tried to settle her back in bed. I was pretty scared at this point because now I was thinking that Heather might have a sixth sense and see dead people and all that. She sat in her bed and looked in the corner of her room, shaking her head as if to admonish her dead people. She looked up at me, and I realized she expected me to protect her.

I looked at the corner where there is a chair with some pillows on it and a bookshelf. No people. Not that I could see anyway.

Uhhh. Hey. You. Um. You need to leave now.” I told nobody in the corner.

I looked over at Heather who still didn’t appear satisfied. She shook her head at me to let me know she was unimpressed with how I handled intruders.

Um. Nobody told you to come in. Now go. Scoot!” I looked at Heather who nodded her head at me. Ok, she’s happy now, I thought. I watched Heather watching them leave, her eyes crossing the room, monitoring their progress, it seemed.

I pretended to watch my new imaginary friends leave, but was really giving death looks to John who was standing behind me in the hall and not bothering to help at all.

And DON’T come back,” I said at their imaginary backs, pausing for effect to give them time to walk down the stairs and to the front door before I looked back at Heather.

They’re gone. They said they’re sorry they bothered you and they hope you feel better.” I hoped I wasn’t over-doing it. I wanted to let her know that even dead people have manners but I didn’t want to cross the line and have her think they were so nice that she’d want to go drinking with them or anything.

She smiled, gave an audible sigh of relief, and fell back to sleep under her covers, obviously exhausted from the drama of it all.

As you probably guessed. I was pretty freaked out. I contemplated sending Heather’s mom an email in Wales, but I wasn’t sure what I would say.

Hi Jayne! Heather is doing great. She just has a little bug. Oh and does your daughter have a sixth sense? Just wondering. So what’s the weather like in Caerphilly? Lots of love from America!

I decided not to and to just make sure Heather got lots of rest.

Do you think Heather has some weird thing where she sees ghosts?” John asked later on, laughing. I kept expecting Heather to come back and tell me there was a traveling band or something hanging out in her room. All the corners and dark spaces of our room started to look ominous.

No,” I said, thinking the exact opposite, of course.

What if it’s like “The Sixth Sense” and there are dead people beating her up in bed?” he said. “Shouldn’t we check on her?

Shut up, honey.”

What if we go downstairs and all the cabinets are open? Would you think it was her friends?

Shut up, John!

I felt really bad thinking about Heather getting beat up by dead people but I figured that I could help her the next morning with band-aids and ice and stuff. I wasn’t going back in there again last night.

I didn’t sleep very well last night. As a matter of fact I didn’t sleep at all. Just in case I had to walk any more unexpected guests out in the middle of the night.

Just in case anyone is concerned, Heather did not have any bruises when I checked on her this morning and she is on the mend. She is getting lots of sleep and I am keeping her away from all sharp objects.

And we are not watching any horror movies in this house for a really long, long time.


37 Comments on I See Dead People. Or Maybe I Just Like Talking to Walls.

  1. The best looking Wilkes (Tom)
    February 19, 2013 at 5:35 pm (2 years ago)

    Yeah she always used to sleepwalk..
    One time in our old house, my mum found her out in the hall with her quilt and her hand was in the shape of scissors and she was yelling “I’m getting the spiders out of my blanket”

    Oh and yeah I used to get freaked out by her because when my parents weren’t in the room when we were younger she used to open her eyes really big, tilt her head and just stare at me, which always made me cry..

    • masalachica
      February 20, 2013 at 12:55 am (2 years ago)

      Oh no, Tom! She did the same thing last night with her eyes. The funny thing is, I have tried to wake her up a few times and her door is locked and I asked her, why do you lock your door? Your light was on at 3 in the morning so I thought you fell asleep with it on. And she told me she locks it to stop her from sleepwalking. I didn’t believe her. But seriously her light is on in her room at all hours. She’s probably having a tea party in there with her fake friends :).

      Love from America!

  2. Renée Schuls-Jacobson
    February 19, 2013 at 6:15 pm (2 years ago)

    Oooh! She had a baaaaad fever! Scary. You’d better not get it. Or you’d better get it and get over it before BlissDom. <3
    Renée Schuls-Jacobson recently posted…Rules of the RoadMy Profile

    • masalachica
      February 20, 2013 at 12:58 am (2 years ago)

      I have had so many things this year. Yes we are all praying the rest of us don’t get it. But seriously read tom’s comment above. He’s her baby bro. I dunno… ;) and all her roommates are emailing me too saying “now you know”!

      Kisses roomie. Will not sleepwalk on you. Promise!

    • masalachica
      February 20, 2013 at 12:59 am (2 years ago)

      No shit, Mary. Isn’t time I hear a creek in the hall, I am like, “heather?”

  3. Hannah Jade Price
    February 19, 2013 at 7:07 pm (2 years ago)

    I’m glad you have finally experienced her craziness! I wake up to this regularly!
    Did she ever tell you about the time she slept at my house in Cardiff after a night out and she climbed over me (without waking me up so it must have been really slowly), went into my parents room and stood there stroking a dressing robe that was hanging on the door. She was also staring over at where they were sleeping! My Mum woke up feeling like someone was staring at her (pretty creepy) and jumped a mile when she saw Heather stood there! She helped Heather back to my room, where Heather then promptly slammed the bedroom door in her face!
    There are many other stories but that is my favourite! Although I do agree with Tom-waking up with her staring at you is the creepiest thing ever….
    Don’t worry Kiran- not all of us Welshies are crazy!

    • masalachica
      February 20, 2013 at 1:02 am (2 years ago)

      Oh my god I can’t stop laughing at your poor mom.

      Why didn’t h tell us this during her interviews? That little… Oh I still love that crazy perv! ;)

      Xo. One over on Thursday!!

    • masalachica
      February 20, 2013 at 1:06 am (2 years ago)

      Thanks, Leanne! Yeah fevers make people do freaky things. I am the biggest wimp in the world. Have been since I saw poltergeist when I was 7. I really just want all ghosts to at least be fun and merry. Oh and not be clowns. That too.

  4. Elaine
    February 19, 2013 at 9:41 pm (2 years ago)

    Omg, heather!! Well- Kiran, I have to say… Good job thinking on your feet! I think I would’ve been freaking out just a little… Like- where did they go?? Are they hiding out waiting til we all fall asleep.. What did they look like????

    • masalachica
      February 20, 2013 at 1:07 am (2 years ago)

      I have thought all these things! And you know nice our development is new at least I know it wasnt built on a graveyard.

      Or, was it?


  5. Hi, I'm Natalie.
    February 19, 2013 at 9:49 pm (2 years ago)


    I was about 25 when I stopped sleepwalking… I FREAKED out my now-husband once by waking him up by flicking the bedroom lights on/off repeatedly. My daughter sleepwalks, too – apparently there is some hereditary component.
    Hi, I’m Natalie. recently posted…Learning about stuff: 2013My Profile

    • masalachica
      February 20, 2013 at 1:10 am (2 years ago)

      Holy crap Natalie, that would have freaked me out. I sense a theme as I read through these comments- I am a wimp! Yeah she is young – maybe it will stop.

      Right now my husband is sleep talking. I can’t get away from it it seems!

      Thank you for your comment and look forward to reading you!

  6. Alison
    February 19, 2013 at 9:51 pm (2 years ago)

    I love that you love Heather like family.
    Also, yes, horror movies.
    After I watched “The Others”, I was convinced I *was* the others.
    (if you haven’t watched this and have no idea what I’m talking about, don’t worry about it)
    Glad she’s on the mend. No more seeing dead people!
    Alison recently posted…Dear Future FriendMy Profile

    • masalachica
      February 20, 2013 at 1:13 am (2 years ago)

      Yeah, she is family. We totall love her though now we can’t sleep ;) um, especially after Hannah’s comment above. Thanks Hannah – good to know. Glad I don’t have a robe.

      Yeah when John ignores me during sports I often wonder if I am really like Bruce Willis. But I don’t think ghosts stomachs growl so then I know that all is as it should be.


  7. John
    February 19, 2013 at 9:52 pm (2 years ago)

    How come these things didn’t come out during the Au Pair interview process?!?! Just kidding, Heather – we still love you – as long as you keep that crazy in your room!

    • masalachica
      February 20, 2013 at 1:14 am (2 years ago)

      Yes. And hell yes!!

  8. LisaAR
    February 19, 2013 at 9:59 pm (2 years ago)

    Great…now I’m gonna dream of the Snuggle bear just hovering over my bed staring at me. ExACTly what I needed!
    LisaAR recently posted…Mean People SuckMy Profile

    • masalachica
      February 20, 2013 at 1:16 am (2 years ago)

      I still think the snuggle bear would be a cute ghost. And the pills bury doughboy ghost too.


  9. Ameena
    February 19, 2013 at 10:58 pm (2 years ago)

    Terrifying! I always have the scariest dreams when I’m sick. My husband is “sick” right now. He’s not having crazy dreams right now…he’s in heaven!

    PS: Gorgeous picture!
    Ameena recently posted…37My Profile

    • masalachica
      February 20, 2013 at 1:18 am (2 years ago)

      I never really had sleepwalking events but I sleep talk like a nutter when I am sik. I even made myself cry about the laundry in my sleep last time. We-ierd!!!

      Thank you, ameena! Hope you had a great birthday!!!

  10. MomWithaDot
    February 19, 2013 at 11:11 pm (2 years ago)

    This is sooooooooo scaryyyyy **biting nails** Heather!! get well soooon and see only real people puhleez!!
    MomWithaDot recently posted…Meaty stuffMy Profile

    • masalachica
      February 20, 2013 at 1:19 am (2 years ago)

      Lol – madhavi – no joke! We need her to get better! Her parents are lying from wales to see her next week. It’s been 6 months since heave seen her so we need to get her better fast!!


  11. Snehal Naik
    February 20, 2013 at 12:41 am (2 years ago)

    It was really nice of you to comfort Heather by acting as if you are shooing away those invisible people. I don’t know whether ghosts exist. Sometimes I think they are all over the place. If there is God, there are these people who have a life after death. My friend has told us stories of how her parents’ house is haunted and how her niece could always see an uncle in a blue shirt roaming around in the house. It is really scary. But then she also said that if that uncle is not doing any harm, let him be.

    • masalachica
      February 20, 2013 at 1:22 am (2 years ago)

      I believe in the afterlife and I believe in ghosts. I just, you know, don’t want the in my house! That is scary about your friends niece. Sometimes the feeling brings comfort to some families though, I do know that..,

      I hope those I love find peace when they pass. I can’t be having any more conversations like last night and become the ghost whisperer, you know, snehal?


  12. Laurie of Lulu and Daisy
    February 20, 2013 at 7:05 am (2 years ago)

    Luckily, in my family, we’re just sleep talkers. Everyone can have fun with that by getting into the conversation and seeing where it might go.
    You were fast on your feet. I think you handled it perfectly.
    Found your blog through a friends tweet.
    Laurie of Lulu and Daisy recently posted…Wordless WednesdayMy Profile

  13. Arnebya
    February 20, 2013 at 3:09 pm (2 years ago)

    OK the open cabinet question made me laugh even damn harder (and Heather’s brother’s comment just sent me over the edge.) My nephew, now 16, sleep walks. The most unsettling incident was when he decided to put the top bunk together, complete with power tools plugged up and turned on at 4:00 a.m. He was 7.
    Arnebya recently posted…Wordful Wednesday: The Power of FriendshipMy Profile

    • masalachica
      February 20, 2013 at 4:58 pm (2 years ago)

      Arnebya, I almost spit out my water imagining a little boy with goggles and a motorized Allen wrench putting together bunk beds. I wouldn’t know whether to cry or laugh. At least not in which order!

  14. ilene
    February 20, 2013 at 9:52 pm (2 years ago)

    OK – I am more than a little freaked out – whether you have ghosts or heaver is sleepwalking, none of it’s good in my eyes. Speaking of sleep, I hope you are getting some again. If it were me, I would not be so sure I could…
    ilene recently posted…Finding InfinityMy Profile

  15. Manisha
    February 21, 2013 at 11:25 am (2 years ago)

    Spooky! People around these parts have nannies and such. No Au Pairs. Love to hear more about that relationship. Fun post!
    Manisha recently posted…18My Profile

  16. 1stpeaksteve
    February 22, 2013 at 1:52 am (2 years ago)

    Well, from what I have seen at the talking picture shows, having an nanny that can communicate with the dead can be fairly helpful. The old lady from Poltergeist did seem like she was trying to be helpful.

    The only times in movies in which the nanny seemed to be a bad deal was when they would suddenly begin to dress like the lady of the house and tried to turn the children against the mum. I never recall any of the husbands being teeth models so at this point you are probably safe to keep her!

    To sum it up:

    Talking to the dead: Good!
    Wearing your clothes and looking like you: Bad! Prepare for a knife fight!

  17. Anna See
    February 22, 2013 at 6:30 pm (2 years ago)

    Ooh! That must have been weird. Jack used to sleep walk/talk sometimes. Always so freaky!
    Anna See recently posted…Proud LettersMy Profile

  18. Alma
    March 4, 2013 at 11:34 pm (2 years ago)

    So maybe I should of not have read this before bed…
    reminds me of when my husband and son when they have high fevers they often hallucinate
    its quite scary to watch… I like you would have played along and then shit my pants later.
    Alma recently posted…New items and a Knitting Book GiveawayMy Profile


2Pingbacks & Trackbacks on I See Dead People. Or Maybe I Just Like Talking to Walls.

  1. […] sorry ass to the Dulles Expo Center. Our au pair, Heather came with us. In case you don’t know, she talks to dead people. Despite that, I wanted her opinion on some of the wholesale materials I was […]

  2. […] lovely hairstylist. She is in pictures 1 & 3. In picture 4 is Heather, our Au Pair from Wales. You might know her as the girl who talks to dead people. And the lovely redhead is Rowena, Heather’s friend who was visiting from […]

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