Ann Coulter – I’m Here for You

Dear Ann,

I don’t like to get political on this blog. Sometimes I’ll dabble into things like religion but for the most part, I stay neutral. You might be able to guess my leanings through some of my posts, but again nothing definitive.

So this is not an attack on the Republican party, of which I know you are a part of. Because I do not think you are a true representative of that party. I think you are an outlier, an exception, a person who does not speak for the majority of your party. I mean, at least this is my hope, because if people like you are the voice of the party then the Republicans are pretty much screwed.

You see, Ann (I’m assuming I can call you that, right? It’s actually much better than the other names I want to call you, so let’s just go with the basic, “Ann.”) there are people in this world who value kindness. Who value empathy. Who value the differences between people.

And see, I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. When someone like you says what you say, I wonder if you are just an attention seeking bully who wants attention now. Like, sometimes, when my daughter is not getting my all and really wants Mommy to look at her, she will be like “Mommy, Mommy” and get up in my grill and say some really outlandish things. And I am like, “What?” because words can really hurt, Ann. They can. Granted, she is 5 years old, but my point is that some people never outgrow that need.

So, it that it? Is that what it really is Ann? Or maybe when you were in high school, you couldn’t sit at the table with the cool kids? Maybe you had trouble relating to your peers? And now, for once, you have the chance to be the “Mean Girl” but only better – like the mean girl on steroids – because your vitriol gets you on television. It gets you places. Heck, nice people like me are questioning why you do what you do. Because I’m concerned.

Who hurt you, Ann? Was it a boy who didn’t like your locks of blonde hair?

Were you loved? Did you ever maybe feel just a bit, I don’t know, neglected?

If I saw you, I would want to give you a big warm hug, because I think that’s it. I think you just weren’t loved enough. Now, you might not want me to hug you, because I am brown. But I would try anyway. To take away that pain and hurt and anger till your skinny little twig-like body was wracked in sobs.

I usually try to stay out of your business, Ann. I think to myself – “Oh there’s Ann, doing her thing again!” and I kind of smile, because I know like a dog who hasn’t been potty trained, you just can’t help yourself. And that shit has gotta come out.

But your post the other night, really hit me for a doozy. I was all like, “Hey Ann must have been drunk when she wrote this! Girlfriend would never cross that line” but then I realized that I was the one who was drunk and I sobered up enough to admit that yes, you could. You could in fact write this.

But I was surprised, Ann. I was surprised that someone who looks like a drag queen yourself would say something so, so MEAN. I mean, you really crossed the line. And I don’t know if you know this, but there ARE gay Republicans.

Weird, right? That sexuality crosses party lines.

And again, I just kind of turned the other cheek. I didn’t want to get myself in a tizzy over this, you know? Because I know that the men and women who used that Thursday to come out to their parents and reveal their sexuality are more real than you might know how to be.

You know, since nobody hugs you enough.

And I have a feeling that Monday didn’t go as you planned. Because not everybody thinks like you, Ann. You’ve gotta expand that little, teeny part of your mind that is smaller than a raisinet (not to go on a tangent, but I really miss Raisinets. Are they still around?). You see, sweetheart, most people have a heart. It beats in their chest. Sometimes it synchs up with this thing that’s called a “conscience.”

When they work together, amazing things can happen. Magical things. Things that happen when parents love their children. And that love is stronger than you might think. Coming to terms with something like your child’s sexuality may be hard, no doubt. But people do hard things every day. And loving your child is not hard, not for most of us.

But today? Ann, I was so surprised when I saw this from you.

I don’t know, Ann. I don’t know if I want to wrap you up in that big hug now. I’m starting to think that there might not be hope for you. Now, I don’t give up on people very fast. When people said that Robert Downey, Jr. would never come back, I knew – I just knew that he would get better. Because he was too good for that. When people gave up on Britney after she cut off all her hair, I said, “Stop the presses everyone! Girlfriend might come back and get better!”

I still haven’t give up hope yet on that one.

Because I hold on, Ann. I believe in the good in people. And while I know there is a dark side to each of us, to every single one of us, whether we are Republican or Democrat, gay or straight, brunette or blonde, most of us want to hold onto the light. I really believe that most of us do.

By the way, are those extensions? I am just wondering. If not, your hair is really lovely. I do want to recommend a better conditioner though. Your ends are just a teeny bit dry.

Ping me later, ‘k?

And outside of just being there for you for hair advice, I think that the offer still stands. If you want a hug, I’ll give you one. I will try not to break your brittle bones or bruise your overly tanned skin. I will be gentle.

And I know one day you will mellow out. Maybe you should go on a yoga retreat? Just, I don’t know, get away! Let your overly bleached hair down! I think that once you take a deep breath and find that special place inside you, the part that’s been crying inside to be loved and given attention and to just be HEARD God damn it, you will learn to be gentle. Loving.

Good luck on your journey, Ann. On your way to finding love. Peace.

Om Shanti, sister.

Om Shanti.

Kiran

Whenever you are confronted with an opponent. Conquer him with love.” – Mahatma Gandhi

(Backtracking a little: You guys know that I don’t really want to hug her right? Right now my feelings are closer to wanting to throw her off a cliff. Very few people other than her and Glenn Beck do that to me. If you look up the hashtag #specialneeds on twitter right now, you can hear the hurt and the amazement that this public figure could say such a thing. I hope the Republicans come out of this reviling her behavior and speaking out against it. Because that’s the right effing thing to do.)

23 Responses to Ann Coulter – I’m Here for You

  • seenfromafar says:

    Thanks for this, K – last nights tweet from her, as someone with a developmentally delayed bro (and now, dependent), made me angrier than even the debates did, which is huge! Kindness is an increasingly rare virtue these days.

    • Masala Chica says:

      Ah Ami,

      My niece is also developmentally delayed. Nowadays, so few families are untouched by this in some way or another – whether it is through a handicap, autism, speech delays or impediments. I am sending my love and a hug, because I know it’s hard as well, and how protective you must feel for your brother.

      You look beautiful in your profile picture, BTW. So happy.

      • seenfromafar says:

        Agreed. In some ways, it has been interesting to watch as people from high school, who perhaps were not the best to my bro, are now touched by various developmental issues and are reflecting on their own views. It is one thing to have particular views about gender and sexuality, or to dislike the president. It is a completely different thing to use derogatory comments to make your point.

        There used to be an ARC (Association for Retarded Children) where I grew up that put on events ranging from holiday parties to teenage dances… and the students in bro’s classes all refused to go, because of the larger social connotations of the word ‘retard’. There has been such a big movement to stomp out the ‘r’ word… for her to use it in this way is yes, again, beyond the pale to me.

        All this is nothing new though. But yes, I am protective of my bro. It is hard, and it not only changed my childhood but also changes my adulthood, presenting different types of challenges, responsibilities…. and opportunities. His presence in my life makes my life better – more rich, more fun, more rewarding.

        (And besides… shouldn’t we aim to be kind to everyone??)

        (And… thank you re: the picture. I’m lucky gal.)

  • Oh my gosh, I’m blown away by some of those tweets! I’m always disappointed at how hateful people can be but Ann really goes above and beyond. I’ve always thought of her as the “mean girl” wanting attention as well. Maybe she’s trying to seem so tough so her party will think of her more as a masculine figure and so, respect her more? Whatever the case, how horrible and sad. I’m inspired by your wanting to counter her hatefulness with understanding and hugs! Sometimes the people that do the most awful things, that are so hard to love are the ones that need it most. Great post!

  • Linda says:

    Thanks for stopping by my site. Thank you for taking the time to comment on my son. Thanks for writing this. This all comes in a week where I’m dealing with special ed services for my son. I’ve not seen your blog before but am now a new follower! You write with honesty and humor and that tad bit of sarcasm – love it!! Spot on!

  • Peg says:

    She is ignorant and absolutely disgusting. I used to think she said stupid things for shock value. Now I just think she’s and idiot.

    This post was hilarious and sad all at the same time.

  • Holy crap! I didn’t hear about this! Now I’m wondering do I want to stop following her or do I need to keep an eye out for her. You know? Keep your enemies close.

  • Sandra says:

    Thing is, if she can keep it up, she’ll keep pushing people over onto the democrats side. I’m not even American, and I want Obamah to stay. This post was truly brilliant, and I do hope you tweeted it to Ann so she can see that some people want to kill her with kindness (what? death is death, right?…ok, that was mean…)
    But those tweets…they literally gasp out loud. This post needs to get out there! Imma gonna tweet this from the rooftops!
    Love this, love you! Subscribing because clearly, you are a gifted writer, and your points made me smile, especially the one about her not wanting to hug you because you’re brown….I’m still belly laughing. You are awesome!

    • Masala Chica says:

      Oh – thanks for stopping by and reading, Sandra – I really appreciate it. Yeah – there are a lot of angry Americans – mad because she used that word to describe the President, mad because they have family with special needs, mad because it’s just a really bad word. The thing is, it’s a word I used to say in my childhood without much thought – “Oh, that’s retarded!” and so I understand that it was commonly used. But we were educated around the use of the word and at some point, it’s pretty much NOT acceptable.

      At least apologize, you know?

      Great to meet (and read) you Sandra!

  • She is a very angry and hateful person. Your letter is brilliant. xo

    • Masala Chica says:

      She IS angry and hateful, right? A girl I know in high school asked me on facebook if i was being just as mean as her in making the snarky remarks I did about her in my post. I was like, “um, HUH?” This is a person who would incite a riot and you think I am mean because I think she needs a trim? Ah well, to each his/her own.

  • Pingback: Normal

  • Ilene
    Twitter:
    says:

    You completely rock. I don’t know what else to say except I wish I had written this!
    AND “Normal.” both eloquent and spot on. Awesome, awesome work.

  • This letter fires me up! (in a good way) I want to slap her and throw her off a cliff as well. I hope she reads some of these letters people are writing her. Her words are revolting. My little sister has Down syndrome, and I am absolutely stunned that people sling the “R” word around still. If they only knew…

    • Masala Chica says:

      Thanks for stopping by, Jen. I agree – the word should have no place in our vocabulary. But I have decided I am absolutely fine with calling Ann an “asshat.” I like that “A” word a million times more than the “R” word.

      Peace,
      Kiran

  • Alison
    Twitter:
    says:

    You know, asshats exist in this world because apparently there is a need for ‘balance’. Sort of the light and dark, good and bad situation, or something.

    But we could do with one giant, over-bleached, attention-seeking asshat. I’m not American, I don’t have any vested interests in American politics (though I can’t help but like Obama), I don’t have any special needs family members, but *I* was offended by her and her use of the R word. I would hug her. I’d hug her to death.

  • Pingback: Facebook Rules!

  • She spews hateful words to get attention and sell books. I mostly turn away when I see headlines with her name. And on TV, I change the channel; I cannot stand the sound of her voice. I just don’t understand how someone can be so callous and mean. I mean, those tweets are unconscionable and so immature. But they are just the tip of her iceberg. Thanks for venting for the lot of us. :-)
    Diane Hughes recently posted…Stars, fire and rainMy Profile

  • Joey
    Twitter:
    says:

    I’d like to focus on the important part of this post, which is that Rasinets can still be found at the movie theater, and occasionally, in the candy aisles of grocery stores. I loved this post, and I think you’re one of my favorite people ever.
    Joey recently posted…On Enjoying Life, Despite PeopleMy Profile

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MEET KIRAN
I'm Kiran, I'm a dreamer. A writer. A singer. A mother. An ugly crier. An Indian-American. Who loves Gandhi. My stories are full of truth that is sometimes hard for me to say out loud. This blog is where I overcome my fears and live (and love) out loud. Read More....
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