But it was not your fault but mine,
And it was your heart on the line,
I really f^%$#ed it up this time.
Didn’t I my dear?Didn’t I my dear.?

- Mumford and Sons, “Little Lion Man”

I have a confession to make and perhaps you will judge me, but I said that this blog was about telling the truth and cutting past the phoniness, so I have to come clean.

I have a really bad habit. I listen to songs with curses in them. If the songs are on when the kids are around the room or if they walk in while I am singing my lungs out, I may NOT turn them off right away. I may not sing louder or turn up the volume.

Most of the time, anyway.

This is distressing to John.

“Kiran, turn it off – we don’t want the kids to hear that!”

And yes, I know. I don’t want them to be hearing songs where women are being disrespected and objectified and called names. I also don’t want them to hear cursing in rage and directed at people. Nothing like that.

But every once in a while, well, I think it’s ok to be listening to a GREAT song and let a little F bomb drop.

My rationale for this is the following:

1) Most adults, never mind most kids, hardly know what the heck they are singing along with on the radio most times anyway. I mean, I used to gyrate on the floor when I was 9 singing “Like A Virgin” thinking it was just a song about a girl who had never been on a date. Seriously, who gives a rat’s ass? I still didn’t get any action till I was 19, so who really cares?

2) They are going to hear it anyway and probably in much worse context than in the songs that they might overhear from my Pandora playlist. I just don’t make that big deal about it, and I think they probably won’t either.

3) Well, the reality is that their father curses like a sailor anyway. Let’s just say that John stubs his toe. The likely result is that John’s toe now hurts. (Poor John).

So, now, my husband has a throbbing toe and a desire to let the world know about how upset and hurt this makes him.

(Now, I know that this is just a re-enactment through prose, and I know its just instinct on John’s part, but this is kind of what it sounds like.)

I hear a loud crash coming from the family room.

John: “Oh shit! Oh MY God! That fu^$^$g hurt so bad!”

Me: “John, the kids. Seriously?”

John: “I am fu%^%ing hurt. Don’t you care?”

Well of course I do, but I am too busy listening to profanity filled music in the kitchen to deal with it right now.

So the long and the short of it is, it’s finally caught up with me. I have received my comeuppance for once and for all. (Though I still blame John’s outbursts more than the music).

The other day, our Au Pair, Monica went out to heat up the car to drive Shaila and Nico in the morning. She asked Shaila to stay in the house for a bit.

Monica: “Now Shaila, you need to stay inside until the car is warmed up. It’s very cold outside.”

Shaila: “Oh, ok.” Pause. “Like, is it F^%&ing cold?”

When Monica told me this I was very upset because I had no f%$%ing idea where she got this from and why she thought it would be ok to say f&&^*ing within our walls. Its just f^&*^ed up, I tell you.

A few weeks ago, Shaila dropped something in the bathroom. I was in her bedroom picking out a bedtime story. I heard her gasp and then so clearly, I heard the following:

“Oh Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Reaally, really stinky shit!”

I didn’t say anything, but I had a hard time keeping a straight face.

But trust me, it was f%&&ing hard.

So, one of my favorite songs which has cursing in it, but which I personally love within the context of the song is Mumford and Son’s “Little Lion Man“.

And I am sorry, but that won’t be deleted off of my playlist anytime soon.

Go on and have a curse fest. Despite the curses, its still one of the most beautiful and inspiring songs of the year.

Here is it.

And if this is my fault, and I really did f^&^&* this up? I’m sorry, my dears.

Listen to the video and sing your heart out (and drop some f-bombs) away!